“Such messages invalidate their sexual orientation and suggest same-sex relationships between women are for the sexual gratification of men,” said therapist Kimber Shelton, who has worked with lesbian clients who have reported microaggressions from men, including the aforementioned assumptions. There are bars, clubs and well-known dating apps such as Grindr.
“It feels very vulnerable to acknowledge that the relationships we work to have recognized are sometimes toxic.” When lesbian women realize they are in an abusive relationship, disclosing this information to others and seeking help can be challenging.
Therapist Amber Ault — who works with lesbian clients, is gay herself and wrote a book about lesbian relationships — wrote about a lesbian woman whose partner violated her privacy during their first few weeks of dating.
Her partner entered her home without permission, found her credit card bills in a drawer and paid all of them.
She accepted this as a grand romantic gesture and soon moved in with the woman.
The relationship became emotionally toxic and took years to leave.
“Feminist” is another label people pressure lesbians to consider.