I took a sip of my cappuccino and fantasized about him lounging in my breakfast nook, clad only in boxers. I know that might sound shallow, but let me explain.
I didn't just miss the sex; I missed our friendship, our laughter, our discussions of politics and literature. I thought about my moneyed childhood and how unhappy and lonely I was for much of it. Sometimes I feel a twinge of jealousy when my friends who married rich talk about second homes in Tahoe. But I also know the price many pay: Their husbands work late, so the bulk of the child care and housework falls on them.My home life was miserable, but money—or rather, the things money could buy—distracted me from my despair.Counting down to our annual Florida vacation kept me afloat on the bad days, as did making lists of everything I wanted for Christmas or buying a new pair of boots.WHEN I MET TIM, I WAS 35 and newly single after ending a long relationship. We'd started planning our wedding when I realized that, after six years of initiating every sexual encounter with him, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with a man who wanted to be "cuddle buddies."I joined a dating website and met a series of men.My ex was handsome and gregarious and earned a hefty salary. None were a good match—too talkative, too egotistical, too jaded—until I met Tim. "Sure," I shrugged, figuring I'd explore our attraction until a better candidate came along. My heart sank when Tim pulled up in a dented pickup truck, and I hoped nobody saw me push open the creaky door and step out when we reached the Civic Center. We sat on opposite sides of the sofa until he finally pulled me onto his lap. Afterward, as we stared at the ceiling in wonderment, we both acknowledged that it was the best we'd ever had.We illustrate how to use Speed Dating by applying it to our research on the smart home and dual-income families, and highlight our findings from using this method.